June was a big month in my household. The Clinton Street Cabaret’s Rocky Horror performance, something I have been involved with since I was eighteen, began again. My roommate finally got her gender confirmation surgery. I added a sweet new partner to my polycule. I graduated college with a bachelor’s degree and the first year of my master’s under my belt. My partner finally changed their legal name. I got married. I went on my honeymoon.
It’s been a crazy summer to say the least!
I love being married. It’s an absolute dream. I’ve had many cautionary tales thrown at me about getting married so young. I’ve even lost friends over my choice to be married at 21. However, I kept the people in my life that mattered, and our chosen families were beautifully supportive.
After such a wild month, I’m ready to slow down a little bit. I am still physically disabled and in pain 24/7. I’m still always dizzy, exhausted, and weak. I’ve always pushed myself until I break, and this summer is no different!
So I am practicing the lessons I have learned about taking care of myself and forcing myself to slow down. (Just a little!)
I am working hard to tell myself that my worth is not defined by my productivity. Sometimes, simply surviving the day is enough. I’m allowed to still be proud of myself for existing. Other people can take up the mantle a little.
It’s not easy.
I hate being idle. I can hardly stand to sit still, chronic pain be damned. But I am trying, and that’s all that matters.
It was a hell of a June — hopefully my July can be a bit slower!