I have this girlfriend, we’ll call her Katie, who was seeing someone. They would meet up regularly, like every other night at least, and one day, nothing. The guy, we’ll call him Mitchell, said all the right things – the sweet stuff, things about the future. But the morning after? He completely pulled the rug out from under her and back-tracked. No more calls, no more texts, nothing.
What happened? Two kids with the ideas of high school relationships floating in the back of their heads got caught up in the freedoms and naivities of college dating.
Think about how much easier it is to be around your honey 24/7 when you’re an adult especially if you live on campus. Unfortunately, it’s just as easy to completely evade someone you do not want to see.
Instead of being forced to see each other in the hallways of Suburbia High, we’re able to drop off the face of the earth without so much as an, “I’m just not that into you.” But why do we do it? Why do we go from bright-eyed, bushy-tailed dating in high school, to dropping off when we cannot handle the seriousness anymore?
Obviously curing emotional unavailability comes from within, but what about simply making a rule of open communication? That’s what we lack. It’s harder to be a complete jerk to someone when, chances are, you’re going to see them in homeroom or at lunch. In college, we can hide.
Now, high school relationships have their own downfalls. College dating took those downfalls and exacerbated them. Were we too invested in high school relationships sometimes? Probably. Then put those overzealous emotions and inject them into the college world – stress about money, grades, the ever frightening future.
The fears we had when we were 16 – read: this is too serious – blow up in our faces. When you’re 16 it’s a bit easier to say, “well it’s only high school;” but when you’re an adult, the future – particularly the romantic future – feels much more tangible.
I believe that the best advice – and the infuriating – is to be completely honest. If you really like someone, you should tell them. If you want to be serious with that person, you should tell them. If you do not want to be serious with that person, you should definitely tell them.
Our futures are right in our faces, let’s not waste anyone’s time with games.