For the longest time, I felt that no one could ever really understand my troubles. We all have issues, concerns, and problems, but I felt I was on my own. I am the first one in my family to attend a university, and this tends to be a bit overwhelming and exciting for most students. Yet, over time I kept feeling frustrated, lost, and even sad. I simply didn’t know what was going on with me. This kept happening for a while and it got worse.
It wasn’t until I had several panic attacks that my family and I knew something was wrong. Our family doctor knew what was going on. He diagnosed me with Anxiety Disorder. I was a bit relieved to know what I had yet; my symptoms persisted even after getting on medication. Time passed by and I started to feel better.
However, I just had a recent panic attack. It has been over a year since I had one. I realized that I needed to take care of myself better by getting professional help and by reaching out to everyone I know. I was relying on my medication too much, and hadn’t developed a support system. This is critical for a well-rounded and healthy recovery and growth. I advise everyone to reach out for support from everyone they know and to go to SHAC or any medical center to get professional help. You are not alone, there is help out there.
Mario, this was a courageous post and an excellent and helpful issue to write about.
“You are not alone”, how utterly appropriate. When someone is in the grip of an anxiety attack, panic attack or episode of depression you feel completely alone. You do not feel that anyone can possibly understand how you feel and often you feel powerless to relay what is going on inside of you. I know. I speak from experience.
My mother, who was born in 1917, used to “feel blue”, but back then not that much was known about depression, what caused it, how to treat it, etc. I remember my mother telling me as a youth, “They always just told me, ‘Don’t worry, it will pass’. But you know what, it never did. I just learned to live with it. And you can learn to live with it too Mikey.”
But, unlike my mother’s time, modern medicine had been working on this issue and I decided to try and do something about my “problem”. It took a lot of courage, because only “crazy people need to see a head doctor”, but I decided to consult a professional in my mid-30’s. What I did not know, until I was through with many sessions of talk therapy from a psychologist and further diagnosed by a psychiatrist, was that I was suffering from Chronic Anxiety which is a form of Depression. I received this via the genes I received from both my father and my mother. No, i was not “going crazy”, and there was nothing really wrong with me, I was not “made wrong… a few parts were not left out of my creation”, nothing like that. But what was happening to me was that I was not receiving enough serotonin. Serotonin is a naturally occurring element in our bodies. One of the things it does is to help regulate our moods and sense of well-being. I was prescribed a medication that was not a narcotic, was not habit forming, and was not a drug. It simply helped my serotonin receptors to re-open and I would begin receiving the amount I should.
That diagnosis and resulting medication was a life-changing event for me. I still have to go through all the same crap in life as all of you but now I can do it with the knowledge and confidence that I am normal (relatively speaking) and have all the tools God bestowed on me to not only get through this life–but to excel in my life. I can also say that I am happy now–and before I could never say those words in truth.
Thanks for Sharing Mario–great article.
Mike,
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my blog. I hope to reach out and inspire people in similar situations to seek help from family and friends. Modern medicine and practice has improved as well. I am finally able to not only feel better, but also think better and in a positive light. I was ashamed to tell anyone about my disorder. However, by opening up and writing about my experiences, I have found that I am not only more confident but also happy with my life.
Mario, it takes a brave person to look a demon in the eye and seek help to overcome what we do not understand. I have confidence in your character and your determination to live life on your terms. 🙂